Imagine that I am a farmer. I live with my wife there on our farm. It is a beautiful farm with corn and tomatoes, fruit trees, and even chickens and milk cows and a small heard for beef. Lets even imagine a fresh stream running through the farm with cool clear water. Idyllic.
Oh, lets also imagine I have 3 kids who live "at my house."
Dinner time comes, and I habitually go to the cupboard and get a "fresh" package of twinkies for my wife and I. We wash them down with a bottle of diet Coke! Yum!
Time to feed the kids too, so a volunteer from across the street comes and gets them from the cottage they live in by the house, and takes them to a place down the street for candy!
Now you might look at my situation and wonder why I am eating twinkies and diet Coke when I could have fresh vegetables, fruits and healthy meat products. It actually seems a little goofy from your perspective. But you don't judge me and just go on with your life.
Then you find out that not only do my wife and I not partake of the fruits of our amazing farm, neither do our children. You wonder about the fact that we don't spend time with our children and that we have someone to feed them candy for lunch.
If you heard about the above, would your comment be,
"At least they are doing something. It is better than doing nothing, right?"
Not only that, would you say, "At least they have someone come in and get them. And the kids love eating candy all the time!"
Or, if you heard about the above, would your comment be, "Why don't they feed the kids and themselves on the products of the farm? Who in their right mind would give their children over to someone else and just allow them to feed them candy?"
HOLD ON! Let me try to explain the facts to you...
First, if I kept the children at my house, then I would have to change my home so that it would be more hospitable, safer for them. You know I have never had to put covers on the electrical outlets and if I did that, then I would have to take the covers off every time I wanted to plug something into the outlet. I would have to put barriers up to keep them from falling down the steps. I couldn't swear as much and I would have to be more patient. Hellish! (pardon my language).
Second, I would have to feed them which means I would need to prepare the twinkies in different ways as some babies need milk, other people need food chopped up into smaller pieces and so on. And we don't like to eat in a different way, a way that might cause us to like chew, or exert other effort.
Third, if there were other people in the house, I would also have to do things that other people like to do rather than the things that I like to do. I have already decided what I like to do and I don't want to change that for some group of people who seem to be doing fine without me and I without them.
Fifth, children do things like get dirty, drop things, talk when they aren't supposed to and for that matter, talk about things that I am not interested in. How are my wife and I supposed to talk about the things we are interested in if other people want us to talk about things they are interested in.
Besides, we always talk about the children when they are not with us in very positive ways! We say how lovely and friendly they are. How they are such a blessing! Particularly when they are taken care of by someone else in a different place!
No, this is the best way...At least we are doing something and it is better than nothing.